The Birth Rites: The First Hours
The adhaan in the right ear: The first sound a newborn Muslim should hear is the adhaan — the call to prayer. The Prophet (SAW) recited the adhaan in the ear of Hasan ibn Ali (RA) at birth. (Tirmidhi) This is the community calling the child to its purpose before it can respond — planting the seed of tawhid in the first moments of life.
Tahnik (softening a date and placing it in the infant’s mouth): The Prophet (SAW) performed tahnik for newborns brought to him — he would chew a date until soft and rub the softened paste on the infant’s upper palate. This is among the earliest Prophetic interactions with children and carries both spiritual blessing (connection to the Prophet) and practical benefit (introducing glucose to regulate blood sugar in newborns). Families who have access to dates from Madinah often use those for tahnik as a blessing.
Naming (tasmiya): The Prophet (SAW) named children on the seventh day (the day of aqiqa), though naming can occur before. Guidance on names:
- Names with good meanings are preferred: “You will be called by your names and your fathers’ names on the Day of Resurrection, so make your names good.” (Abu Dawud)
- Names of the Prophets and righteous are recommended: Abdullah, Abdurrahman are said to be among the most beloved names to Allah (Muslim)
- Names with praiseworthy meanings (‘Ata, Barakah, Nasiha) are preferred over those with doubtful meanings
- Names that imply spiritual claims (“Abd al-Nabi”) are controversial; most scholars prefer names referring to Allah only
Aqiqa: See [[aqiqa]] for the full rite — the seventh-day sacrifice and celebration marking the child’s entry into the community.
Circumcision (khitan): For boys, circumcision is a Sunnah in the Shafi’i school and an obligation in others. It is typically performed in the first weeks after birth in modern practice (seventh day in the Sunnah tradition). The Prophet (SAW) identified it as one of the five acts of the fitra: “Five things are from the fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, trimming the moustache, cutting the nails, and plucking the underarm hair.” (Bukhari)
The Early Years: 0-7
The home as the first madrasa: The Quran’s model of faith formation is family-centered — Luqman’s advice to his son (31:13-19) is the Quranic template for Islamic parenting: begin with tawhid (no shirk), follow with responsibility to parents, then gratitude to Allah, then salat and enjoining good and forbidding evil, then character in public life. This is not a school curriculum but a parental conversation — a father speaking from the heart to a child he loves.
Cultivating love for Allah and the Prophet: Before children can understand theology, they can feel love. Parents introduce Bismillah before eating, Alhamdulillah after, InshaAllah for the future — weaving the language of God-consciousness into everyday speech until it is natural.
Bedtime Surahs: The Prophetic practice of reciting the three Quls (Surah al-Ikhlas, al-Falaq, al-Nas) before sleep, blowing on the hands, and wiping over the body should be taught to children early. See [[juz-amma]] for a full guide to these short Surahs.
The Second Stage: 7-10 (Prayer Age)
Command to pray at seven: The Prophet (SAW) said: “Command your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them [lightly] if they do not at ten, and separate their beds.” (Abu Dawud) This hadith is foundational for Islamic parenting — prayer is not introduced at puberty but at seven, trained with increasing expectation:
- Age 7: Introduction to prayer — go through motions, attend congregation
- Age 8-9: Regular practice — child should be praying most prayers
- Age 10: Firm expectation — prayer is now treated as an obligation, minor consequences for missing
Why seven?: The human brain at six to seven years enters a concrete operational stage — the child can memorize, understand sequence, and develop habits. Prayer at this age establishes the neural pathways of regular salat before adolescent distractions complicate faith.
Quran memorization: The early childhood years are the optimal window for Quran memorization. Children who begin hifz (memorization) between 5-10 years old retain it far more easily than those who begin in adolescence. See [[quran-memorization]] for the full guide to hifz methodology.
Character Formation: The Core of Islamic Tarbiya
The Prophet on children: The Prophet (SAW) was extraordinarily gentle with children — he would cut his khutba short when a grandchild entered the mosque, he allowed children to climb on his back in sujud, he answered their questions with patience. The Prophetic model of parenting is warmth combined with clear moral guidance.
The key virtues to cultivate early:
- Sidq (truthfulness): Children who see their parents maintain absolute honesty internalize it. Children who see their parents lie to friends or use small deceptions learn that dishonesty is acceptable.
- Amanah (trustworthiness): Following through on promises to children teaches them that promises matter. Breaking promises to children (“I’ll buy you that if you’re good…”) trains them that commitments are negotiable.
- Ihsan (excellence in everything): The standard is not “pass” but “best.” Children learn to pursue quality when parents model quality.
- Rahma (mercy and gentleness): Children who experience gentle, merciful parenting internalize mercy. Harsh, punitive environments produce either hardness or submission, not genuine Islamic character.
The Bohra Framework for Islamic Parenting
Community education (ta’lim): The Dawoodi Bohra community maintains a network of madrasas that provide parallel Islamic education alongside secular schooling. Children learn Arabic, Quranic reading, Lisan al-Dawat, Islamic history, and the fundamentals of fiqh.
Misaak preparation: A major milestone in Bohra children’s faith development is preparation for the Misaak (covenant ceremony). See [[before-misaak-knowledge]] for the full knowledge checklist. This typically occurs in early adolescence and requires:
- Memorization of essential duas and parts of salat
- Understanding of the six articles of faith (with Ismaili additions)
- Knowledge of the Imam, Da’i, and their roles
- Basic understanding of wuzu and salat
The Da’i’s guidance on children: The Syedna has specifically addressed the responsibility of Bohra parents to raise their children within the da’wa — attending ta’lim, learning Lisan al-Dawat, maintaining the Bohra dress code, and preparing for Misaak. Raising children as connected members of the Bohra community is part of the parental covenant.
See also: Aqiqa, Before Misaak Knowledge, Misaak Ceremony, Juz Amma, Quran Memorization, Understanding Namaz, Akhlaq, Dai Al Mutlaq Institution