Zihar in Pre-Islamic Arabia
Zihar was a pre-Islamic Arabian formula for effectively ending a marriage without formal divorce: a man would say to his wife “You are to me like the back of my mother” (anti ‘alayya ka-zahri ummi). This formula made the wife permanently forbidden to the husband (as a mother is forbidden), but did not formally dissolve the marriage — leaving the woman in a state of permanent limbo: neither married nor divorced, unable to remarry, receiving no support.
Islamic law had not yet explicitly addressed this formula — it existed in the gray zone between the pre-Islamic practices being superseded and the new framework being established.
Khawla’s Argument and the Revelation
Aws pronounced zihar on Khawla bint Tha’laba. She came to the Prophet and argued: she had given Aws her youth, borne his children, and now in her old age he had cast her aside with a formula that left her in legal limbo. She pleaded her case.
The Prophet initially responded that he did not have guidance on zihar — she should accept her situation. Khawla persisted. The Quran then revealed (58:1-4): “God has certainly heard the speech of the woman who argues with you [O Muhammad] concerning her husband and directs her complaint to God. And God hears your discourse; indeed, God is All-Hearing, All-Seeing.”
The ruling: zihar is explicitly prohibited and declared sinful. If a man says it, he must perform expiation (kaffarah) — freeing a slave; if unable, fasting two consecutive months; if unable, feeding sixty poor persons — before he may approach his wife.
See also: Seerah Khabbab Ibn Al Aratt, Fiqh Al Mahr, Al Mujadila Surah, Fiqh Al Wasatiyyah, Aisha Bint Abi Bakr