The Hudaybiyya Counsel
At Hudaybiyya, after the Prophet concluded what the Companions considered a humiliating treaty, he commanded them to shave their heads and slaughter their sacrificial animals (signaling the end of the thwarted Umra). They sat frozen — none moved. The Prophet came to Umm Salamah in her tent in visible distress.
She assessed the situation and offered counsel: “Go out, O Prophet of God, and do not speak to any of them. Slaughter your animal and shave your head.” He did. The Companions saw him act alone and immediately followed.
Her judgment that the Companions’ paralysis was not defiance but shock — that they needed the cue of his action rather than another command — proved correct. This story is cited in classical fiqh as a precedent for the legitimacy of consulting women in matters of leadership.
Emigration and Separation
When the early Muslims emigrated to Medina, Umm Salamah’s in-laws (Banu Abd al-Assad) seized her husband’s right to take their son on the grounds that the child was from their tribe. She spent approximately a year sitting at the gate of Mecca weeping for the separation of her family — her husband in Medina, her son with in-laws, herself stranded at the city limits — until they relented.
The Prophet’s Proposal
After Abu Salamah’s death, the Prophet proposed marriage. Umm Salamah listed her concerns honestly: “I am jealous, I am old, I have small children who need care.” The Prophet answered: “I will ask God to remove the jealousy. As for your children, God and His Messenger will care for them.” She accepted.
See also: Seerah Hudaybiyya, Seerah Khadijah, Seerah Al Miswar Ibn Makhrama, Seerah Zaid Ibn Arqam, Seerah Jabir Ibn Samurah